My little hiatus is over

and I brought back a blowtorch.

I apologize for my absence. I know how hard it is to function without Auntie Phoenix being around to wipe your ass and guide you around like I'm your fucking conscious. Not that any of you assholes care, but I spent about 2 weeks on my death bed. I return to you in full effect, after the evil sinus infection tried to keep me away.

Anyway, how's it hanging? Making good choices? Still pinning your bullshit on others or have we evolved? In my time away, I've witnessed quite a few things that made me raise an eyebrow and scratch my head. This means we have a lot to cover. For my kiddos with ADHD, take that Adderall and pay attention, baby. I'd hate for you to get lost.

First up, "using culture"

I will be abundantly clear and touch your hand when I say this. There is nothing cool, cute or quirky about draining the love of the people nearest to you to feed whatever sick hunger looms inside of you.

These people are not personal blood-bags for your vampiric ego. The warm bodies of the world are growing colder as the seconds in the day pass because you are using them for selfish gain.

Let's be real, we live in a wicked world and everyday (especially in 2024), a new piece of the puzzle is revealed showing us something worse than the day prior. Love is sparse and hate is everywhere. Individuals who always come from a place love are treasures and should be treated as such. I've recently noticed more and more of good people being given the shittiest end of stick and being expected to be grateful to have received an end at all. And I am not talking about the people that are good with the expectation of some grand return. I am talking about people who would lay belly-first on a land mine just to see the fucking ingrates of the world happy, healthy and safe while knowing their own fate.

If you are are one of these pure hearted individuals, I personally want to apologize on the behalf of every single person that is using and abusing you all-the-while not giving a second thought to how draining it must be. You don't deserve that (and no you don't have to be a complete fucking saint for this to apply). I admire your efforts to remain the bigger person and continue to put your best foot forward. Personally, I would simply set the world on fire to show them I am not to be fucked with.

If you are on the flip side of the coin, you should be oh-so-fucking-ashamed. I know you aren't because you are selfish and could care less who you hurt in your path. All I'm saying is you better look the fuck around. You're lucky to even have these people around you that love you enough to give you their time and energy. You better hope you don't run into a bigger leach than yourself because they won't hesitate to drain you of everything you are made of. Get your shit together, go apologize and learn to be appreciative and reciprocal, expeditiously. It's time sensitive and if you wait too long, you might not like what you end up with.

next up, the subtle art of disengaging

You know how they say, everything isn't for everybody? Yeah, well that even applies to shit that used to be for you. Sometimes, the very best thing you can do for you is disengage. To grow is to change. And with that change comes letting go of people, places and things that don't align with where you want to be and who you want to be.

By no means am I saying you have to cause a scene or become a more vile version of yourself to accomplish this. Just withdraw. Take that giant step back. You are in control of you and your inner world. The outer world sadly has always and will always move to the beat of its own drum. You don't have to get swept away in it or grit your teeth and accept anything that makes you feel like shit.

But if you are going to disengage, you have to do it fully. This is not the hokey-pokey. You cannot pop in and out and pick and choose when to be the new you or the old you. It is not an easy thing and sometimes there will be unavoidable hiccups. You, however hold the power of walking away. Run into someone that is not good for you and does not belong in your bubble? You have two options, you can engage and get locked into the loop, being forced to learn the same lesson, again and again; or you can simply choose different and walk away. The same goes for environments and things (tangible or not) that may cause you to stumble back down the same path as last time so you can rewatch the same scenes replay again and again.

If the individuals and habits that you have decided to keep around during these changes continue to submerge you in these places you don't want to be with people and things that you would rather not be around, it may be time for some re-evaluation. And sometimes, the best place to think and re-evaluate is in isolation.

It is better to be alone while you figure your shit out than be surrounded by people who do not respect your boundaries and your efforts towards better.

Last stop for today: lust is killing the beauty of love

To the people that enjoy being sought after and desired for what is on the outside only and what you can give with your body, kudos to you. I hope you are having a blast in this hellhole and you are attracting everyone that you desire. To the people who want to be loved whole and desire loyalty and stability; can somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on here????

Like the frequency at which everything is about sex is actually extremely cringey. Especially as someone who does not want to be touched by anybody that I do not have any kind of real connection with. WHY are y'all (and I use y'all loosely) so horny? There is nothing flattering about being viewed as a slab of meat used to fulfill somebody's sexual appetite while they discard the other parts of you that they have no desire for. And the worst part about it is, a lot of these horndogs hide their true intentions.

Trying to be deceptive is a great way way to immediately get your water cut off by me, personally. Be clear with your intentions. The people you're attracted to are not Russian sex dolls there for the taking. If you want a hooker, go buy one. There are people who genuinely want to valued and playing with them is not okay to do. It severely fucks up their trust and deters them from dating people who could genuinely be interested in them. We're not school-aged kids anymore. Our actions have real consequences for all parties involved, even in the dating world.

In summation

Please just think about the shit you're doing. To yourself and the people around you.

It's great to be back.

talk soon.