Okay, I'm not mad. I just wanna know who pissed in the dating pool.

Gotta go? Get out of the pool.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to talk about the community pool we are all flailing about in that has a higher concentration of piss than water. The dating pool. If you're happily in love and it's all rainbows, sunshine and unicorns around your way, you are more than welcome to turn away now. If you're curious, you're welcome to stay. But if you stay, sit tight, be quiet and act like you've been somewhere.

Overreacting much? It's not even that ba-

Excuse me? Have you seen it out here? It's a war zone. Have you had somebody chase you for literal years and then emotionally tie you to the back of a truck and drag you a few miles the moment you let your defenses down? Or What about a man (or woman, I've seen us do some shit too) that makes you feel special, tries to convince you that you're the apple of their eye, and then the moment you don't give them the what they want and what they've been pretending so hard for, they reveal the shitty, selfish individual they really are and you don't even recognize them anymore? Oh. Yeah, it's bad out here.

Now nobody's perfect and the average person has done their fair share in the pissing. But a lot of you motherfuckers are way out of line.

I was out of the pool for a few years, so I though maybe it was just sensory overload and I forgot how to swim. But no, people who have been in and out or just back in the pool longer than me have confirmed that it is beyond treacherous. I have never in my life seen trenches like these.

You know how when we were kids, our parents would make us wait to get back into the pool after eating on swimming days? The dating pool equivalent to that would be waiting to jump back in after a relationship until you've processed it, felt your initial feelings and at least started to heal. Nobody's doing that anymore. Everybody's jumping head first from one situation to the next, scarring the next person, who scars the next person (and the cycles continues on and on).

That is definitely not the only reason.

And you're right about that. Let's examine some other reasons, shall we?

Starting off with an obvious but hurtful bombshell, I fear that the music we listen to and are exposed to nowadays plays a roll. To me its big, you might not think so. Music (especially R&B and even some RAP/Hip-Hop) used to be about being in love, wanting to be in love (or yearning) and how being in love has changed the individual (for better or worse, really). Today's music (with the exception of the dime-a-dozen artists that are trying to keep love alive), is all about how women are hoes and users and it's not worth loving or being exclusive with just one & how men are cash cows and if they're not giving you money, buying you expensive gifts, and taking you exotic places, they are deemed otherwise useless. Words are power, kids. We are simply getting what we ask for.

Don't worry, music isn't the only or the biggest culprit here. Another big one is that the rules of "the game" have been completely chopped, screwed and rigged and there is no longer any way to win. It doesn't matter which way you flip it, in this day and age, love is definitely a losing game. The objective of the game of love at one point, was to win the other person's love AND KEEP IT. The main point of said game has since changed to more of a capture and release ideal; where people are being won over to be mentally and emotionally drained of their life force and turned back over to the dating pool for more abuse. It is nearly impossible to satisfy anyone anymore. Everyone's head is constantly on a swivel, searching for the next best option. And if that is going to continue to be the collective mindset, no one will ever be happy.

Anymore hot takes, professor?

I'm glad you brought it up because I've been dying to talk about this for a hot minute. In the great words of the late philosopher, Sigmund Freud, "men want mothers they can fuck." While he didn't say it exactly like that, that is my analysis of the Oedipus Complex theory (if you don't know what that is, look it up. Again, I am not here to tech you your ABCs). I mean look around, men want women to work (or "have motion"), wait on them hand and foot, drop everything at the drop of a dime to fulfill their every request, desire and fantasy, while also being Mother (fucking) Theresa. Men want want women to be pure and never to have even taken a breath in the direction of other men, but they can pile up more bodies than Jack the RIpper (and still expect to accepted with open arms and an open heart). Fuck that. If you want pure, be pure. I hear discourse all the time about how women/girls just want fathers (and maybe they do. I've seen some shit), but please realize, the phone is ringing from inside the house.

Now, I must turn the flamethrower on my own kind in the name of fairness. We settle, ladies (men put down your stones & pitchforks and let me explain. You might agree with something.) We settle for the bare minimum both in the physical world and in the mental and emotional realms. Since birth, we have been in a race of development....and they have always been behind us. We even went through puberty and finished growing before them. I'm not saying stoop to their level, but maybe toss them a stepping stool or something and give them a fairer chance. All of the things we automatically assume or say they won't do, understand, or like are going to be the things we will never receive or be able to share with them. I hate to say it, but we have to actually give them a chance to care about those things for them to care about them. I'm begging you, please don't take this as a sign that you can fix or raise him, that is a losing battle. All I'm saying is, at times we don't want to express the things we want or need, and often times, we don't know how to. So we just expect. And expectations are the worst thing to have. Think about it like this, if your job had performance expectations but never outlined them to you (and I'm not talking about the unspoken work expectations that have been known since the dawn of existence), how are responsible for not meeting one of them? We have the big discussions with our friends and other people in our lives and handpick the ones we're going to have with the men out of those topics. Make them sit through your rants and freestyle thoughts too. You'd be shocked the things they think about in return. He can't listen or have the conversations with you? (with time and place in mind, please) RUN. Run like your fucking hair is on fire.

Men, do me a favor and hop in the frying pan, just real quick and I'm done (I swear).Give us something to work with, please. The macho man, "nobody cares about my feelings" card is so over-played and worn out. Stop giving superficial and give the real before things are so fucked up for you emotionally that you have to open up. It's okay to tell your person (this the era of rosters so i'll say "or people") the small good things, the stupid shit and the boring shit. That's called communication. It's real neat and kinda fun, if you do it right. You should try it. We do not know how you feel just because you know or don't know how you feel inside. You're confusing and unlike us, not very forth coming. It wouldn't hurt to at least try.

All right, that's enough from you.

Fine, I'll wrap it up. To tie all of that into a pretty little box with a bow, we're all just taking turns pissing in the dating pool. Just piss-a-palooza. If we're gonna bother cleaning it up, it's gonna be a group effort. Everybody has their shit with them and we all need work as individuals as well as a collective. Because I know y'all's cheap asses are not going to pitch in to open a new pool. So it starts with matters as minuscule (but as major as) our individual thoughts. We need to get our shit together. I should be saying y'all, because personally, I'm getting the hell away from the community pool and going to go see what the water feel like in the gated community pool. Y'all be easy though.

talk soon.