Valentine's Day

the love day

Relax, I come in peace. What the fuck do you take me for? A heartless monster? Never really loved Valentine's Day, but I'm not mad at it. I like the idea of it really. A day about love. I just think we use it wrong.

Okay, check me out. It's supposed to be the day about love, so why does it have to be exclusively about romantic love (all parent, crotch goblins and besties aside)? Wait, before you call me a sad-single-fucking-crybaby, just hear me out. There doesn't have to be loneliness in solitude. I'm good, I'm centered. Nobody gives a shit about your Valentine that only buys you flowers or tells you they love you after they cheat and on Valentines Day. (sorry, just had to get that out, since some of y'all think you're better than me) I'm saying, Valentine's Day is just a big romantic-love contest on who can be showered in the most gifts. If receiving gifts is your love language, hey, have at it. Just make sure you're receiving the right gifts.

would you rather

No gift, a bullshit-flashy-gift (for the flex of course), or a gift that shows that somebody pays you a lot of attention (or attention at all)? The gift doesn't even have to be a tangible object (and I'm just going to leave that right there). Now if you're a gift giver (and you would much rather give a tangible object), just remember (and I fucking mean, remember) that the value in the gift is in the love and thought put behind it. You can buy the biggest, the shiniest, fucking most exclusive item trending right now, but do they want that kind of stuff? (Like hey buddy, did you know I actually have a kick-ass lighter collection and even just a really cool Bick will suffice?) Does this person actually like roses? Y'all know there's a whole genre of people who don't eat chocolate, right? Is just sex really gonna cut it on either end this year? (yep, I said it. stone me) Does your favorite writer need a new journal, crafty friend is always down for new mediums and supplies. Some may even just be happy with an extra hand for a day, showing you their craft, or learning yours. Does someone you know just need a laugh, a friend or a fucking break from it all? You're significant other really just want to do something cheesy and inexpensive? Fuck it, we ball. It's so much deeper than the price tag, I assure you.

where does Phoenix fall?

I don't fall, I fucking fly (if it went over your head, it's okay). In all seriousness, I love-love. And there are plenty of definitions of it. There's not one straight answer (look it up right now, I dare you). Again, I genuinely don't mind Valentine's Day, I just think we narrow our vision a little bit when we're in the thick of it. Like theres nobody else you know that deserves to be celebrated, or could really use the love right now? I know quite-a-fucking-few.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people who see the beauty in it and use it as a time to spread love outside of their immediate bubble. Example: I worked day shift at the Twilight Zone yesterday (which I rarely do these days) and a little old man that comes in from time to time came in with a bouquet of roses. They were for my boss. Not because he's romantically interested in her, or was trying to get something out of it; but because he thinks she's a beautiful soul and simply wanted to do something to put a smile on her face during this season. When he realized I was there for once, he felt bad bad because he wished he had brought some for me too. We assured him we'd split the roses and all was well. He did that from a place of love. He didn't bring his grandson in to record it for a later post, or ask for something free in return, he was simply satisfied that we were happy with his good deed.

I can't think of a single earth-shattering Valentine's day that I've had in the romantic realm. I'm usually the one strategically picking out gifts and planning out activities based on the preferences and interests, not the other way around. But that's okay. It was always a fucking slap in the fucking face in the moment, but that's when I was looking around examining everybody else's shit + my own efforts. Looking back, I realize that I did it out of love, so it wasn't a waste and while the romance department fell short, there were always other encounters and people that made the day bearable (and actually a little fun) and vice versa. I think it's about the love, not the type of love or how hard you can flex "the love". And not just this one day a year, literally everyday. If you only think to acknowledge that you love me (from any standpoint) once a year, how much do you really love me?

so it's fuck romance?

Are you listening to anything that I'm fucking saying? Like seriously, anything? Romance is fine. When done right (and genuinely) for your situation, it's a beautiful thing to watch. I could never be mad at it. I may be a little rough around the edges, but I've always had a soft spot for it. Watching it in movies and show, seeing the small things people do to reinforce their love in public, hearing stories about it from people I know (and don't know), and hearing the way people string just the write words together so beautifully in music, poetry, and literature to describe their love. It's just not everything. And in a world that makes it as though, if you're not romantically loved something must be wrong with you; sometimes we lose sight that there isn't and we're still loved. (Have you seen the things people are going through in the dating world right now? Maybe you're safer "missing out".)

I just want you guys to remember that there are so many people in our lives that deserved to be loved on, you included. And not just today, but always.

Enjoy your day tomorrow, kids.

And for the love of God, wear a condom. No more Scorpios.

talk soon.